Finding Home
by hAbIrAbI
Summary: Peyton has heard from Lucas that he hates her. She is devastated about this news. What will she do now that the love of her life has announced that he not just doesn't love her, but hates her? First she will go on tour with Mia and try to find a new path.


Hi guys. It's been a long time since I've released anything. Life, work, lack of inspiration it just all came together. Anyway S5 and the upcoming 400th Hil thread on inspired me to write this one shot. I'm also working on 3 other projects but I'll have to see when I get around to finish them. Anyway I hope you will like this little story. It's all written from Peyton's perspective as it should be considering that it's dedicated to the 400th Hil/Peyton thread ;).

About the story. The story is based on S5 up to 517 and the spoilers that were available for 518 at the time that 517 aired. I started writing the story before 516 aired but didn't get to complete it till just recently. Anyway the story does not follow 518. It basically pick up after Lucas told Peyton that he hates her and Scene 1 is where I pick it up after that.

I hope you all like reading the story as much as I liked writing it. Enjoy and happy celebrations to the Hil and Peyton fans :).

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**Scene 1:**

Peyton stood on the Rivercourt. She was all alone and didn't want to see anyone either. Her heart was broken. How could things have turned out the way they did. A few years ago she had been so happy. She got the internship that she had dreamed of. And on top of that she had the guy she longed for. She had always loved him. She knew that now. Lucas Scott had always been the love of her life. Things never seemed to work out for them but still they had found their way together in the end. Even when their paths had been leading them apart they still crossed. And both of them were happier when the other one was a part of their life.

Then things had changed. Her internship became a job offer and the job offer turned into a full low-recognition job. She ended up at the bottom of the music industry's food chain. She hated the job since it had about as much to do with what she wanted to do, as high school had to do with the real life. But like Lucas had always told her to, she had never lost hope. She knew that she could achieve what she wanted to if she just worked hard enough and didn't give up on her dreams.

Following her dreams came at a price though. Lucas was studying at the other end of the country and with their jobs and his studies they hardly ever got a chance to meet. In fact their relationship mostly consisted of phone calls and video chats. Their sex life pretty much revolved around dirty phone calls. Yet even with all this trouble around their relationship (including a few short breakups) they were going strong.

That was until that one cursed day arrived. Lucas' college basketball team had won the college championship and he decided to come to LA. This day everything changed. Lucas wanted to celebrate but also to propose. And as he stood there sharing those wonderful words with her, she panicked. Her mind raced and she started worrying. They were still so young and they still had so much to do. She needed time to think about it but Lucas wanted an immediate answer. With the little time she had – totally unprepared as she was - she thought about all the problems and risks that a marriage so young would bring. So she told him that she would marry him someday. It was the best that she could come up with. She wanted to marry him but she needed time. Also she needed Lucas to think it through, so that he would realize that marriage was such an important and serious matter that it couldn't be rushed.

Had she known what Lucas' reaction would be, she would have said yes. Instead of accepting the fact that she needed time, he took her someday to mean no. Lucas reaction to this perceived rejection was to break up with her. She asked him for more time and told him that they should talk about it again the next day when they would both be more level headed. But rather than waiting and talking to her, he had just taken off. On top of that he had left her the Mix that she had given to him. It was a sign for her that they were really done. Not because of the content of the mix but because what she wrote on it for him. He had rejected her Mix, her love and had gone.

After that she had another chance to make it right. One chance only. Like it was their wont though, things were complicated. Something always got in the way when they were concerned. Lucas had invited her to the LA signing on his book tour. Peyton still loved him and she cared about his art. So she was there as promised. But as she wanted to approach him, she saw a girl kissing Lucas. Peyton immediately jumped to conclusions and thought that Lucas was already seeing someone and just left the signing without even saying 'hello'. Now she wished that she hadn't just left and that she had gone to him no matter what happened. It would have been the right thing to do anyway. She had told him that she would be there and she should have brought up the courage and shown him that she was there. Even if it meant that she was just there to support him as a friend. The fact that she had misinterpreted the situation and might have gotten back together with Lucas that day was beside the point. Although to her it was what mattered most.

The reality was though that she hadn't gone there. She had turned around and left. That way she disappointed Lucas and left him open for another girl to approach him. Cruel as fate was, he got together with the very girl that kissed him at the book signing. Peyton's misunderstanding of the situation had actually made their relationship possible and this fact haunted her all the time since she had found out.

Her life in LA had been miserable. She had tried everything to fulfill her dream. Yet as much as she wanted to and as much as she gave in to the way the music business worked, the further away she got from where she wanted to be. She had to compromise herself and her ideals to get in a position where following her dreams became a viable future possibility rather than just illusions of a hopelessly idealistic girl. By doing so she tarnished the dream she had had. By her trying to become the person she wanted to be, she lost the person she had been and turned into something worse. Something that was even less than what she had been before. She hadn't progressed. Peyton felt like she had regressed in that time.

In the end there was only one thing she could do to find her path back to what she wanted to be. She returned home. She wanted to find the person she had been so that she could finally progress even further to the person she always thrived to become. Peyton Sawyer returned home and found what she sought most but didn't hope to get back right away. She found the only real love in her life. She found Lucas Scott.

What Peyton hadn't known was that Lucas Scott was committed and bitter. He didn't want to hear anything that Peyton had to say. She knew that she had no right to expect him to take her back. But deep inside her heart, she had hoped that he might. She had wished that maybe he was single and would forgive her or at least not hate her. All that she found though was his bitterness. To even get him to take a little part in his life, she had to lay down her heart in front of him. She had to tell him that she had been at his book signing and what his writing meant to her. Peyton was glad that she got that much but she wanted more. She wanted everything. In fact the very words that he had said all those years ago in Nathan's house at that party when she wasn't ready to commit so deeply, echoed in her mind. And for a long time she felt like he wanted the same. She was sure that he loved her too, even though he denied it. At last she had given up. He had proposed to his girlfriend Lindsey and Peyton had to live with it. She had to put up a brave face and let the love of her life go. It hurt her so deeply but to love sometimes means to put the happiness of your significant other above your own.

So Peyton suffered through everything until the wedding, supporting Lucas as much as she had to. Even though she knew what that day meant, she hadn't really realized what it would mean to her. Peyton hadn't realized that she still expected things to turn out alright for Lucas and her. After all, things had always turned out alright for them in the end. Whatever had driven them apart; they had always overcome every challenge and found their way back to each other. This time things were different though. Although the turnout seemed to be in favour of Lucas and Peyton getting another chance. Lucas said 'I do' but Lindsey had turned him down at the altar. But Peyton couldn't overcome the fact that Lucas had said those words. He really seemed in love with Lindsey. So much in love that he had decided to commit himself forever to Lindsey. It really seemed like it was over between Lucas and Peyton. Even more so, since after vanishing for more than a month Lucas still wanted Lindsey back.

As pathetic as it sounded, Peyton had secretly hoped that Lucas would say no at the altar or that he would return and finally realize that it wasn't Lindsey that he loved and wanted. Peyton wanted to be the one that he came back for.

Obviously that wasn't what happened. It was as if the Powers that Be didn't want her to have happiness in a lasting relationship. Especially one with the love of her life. She felt like they were all puppets in a show and their strings were being pulled as the puppeteers liked to. Peyton hated that feeling. The feeling of not being able to steer her own destiny. Feeling like it wasn't in her own hands how her life would move along. Feeling like a victim.

Peyton was feeling bad and it was more than just self pity. She loved Lucas Scott and she couldn't let go, she just couldn't. Despite everything she had said and done and kept on saying and doing, she knew that letting go would mean to leave behind her only shot at true bliss. She might have become happy and might even have lead a satisfying life but it wouldn't be that divine bliss that she had felt when she was with Lucas. It was like she was finally whole. Like Lucas, the universe and herself had finally found each other and were joined as one. She felt at peace with everything and everyone around her. Inside she wondered if that it might be what a baby felt like in its mother's womb. At peace, connected with its entire little universe. Close to the person dearest to it. Feeling the other person as if it was oneself. Sharing life as one.

When Lucas and she broke up, she felt disconnected. Disconnected from Lucas, the universe and even herself. It was as if a part of her was cut out and left a hollow space inside her. Inside the very core of her being. She was lost then and she was still lost now. Peyton had found purpose and goals but her life wasn't really fulfilled nor was she fully happy with what she achieved.

Even with Lucas pining over Lindsey, she couldn't help herself but hope. She couldn't let go. Not until now she couldn't. She hoped that this was the last of that. Her heart still wanted to believe, to hope and to pursue the chance of being with Lucas but her mind couldn't do it anymore. Peyton decided that she had to let go if she didn't want to be miserable all her life and had willed herself to do so. For doing that she had sought something that she could do to end the misery in her life, so she could finally move on. Therefore she was sitting on a bench next to the RC and tried to imagine what she would be doing. In her hand she had a CD and next to her lying on the bench there was enough paint to spray the entire RC.

This was a huge project. Covering the entire RC in art. There was more to it though. She wasn't just having difficulties to imagine how the end result was supposed to look like. Peyton was also struggling with the message that it was supposed to send. Opening her heart again like that and making a decision that would alter her entire life. Her mind was aware that she had to do it. That it was the only thing to do and the only way for her to deal with everything. Yet her heart was telling her differently. Her heart wanted her to run away, fall into her bed, pull the blanket over her head and not come out again until this nightmare was over.

After half an hour of further struggle she made up her mind. She took the spray cans and walked onto the RC. Visualizing the painting in front of her inner eye, she began to spray.

**Scene 2:**

Peyton walked down the aisle of the plane. It was one of the smaller planes. She was on a domestic flight. Her final destination was Denver but she had a stop somewhere on the way there. Denver was where this tour was supposed to start. Mia and a few other performers were going on a big tour throughout the country. Tomorrow it would start in Denver. Then move on to Las Vegas and on towards the West Coast from there. From there it would go up the West Coast and then across the country to the East Coast. She was glad that she could get away from Tree Hill. Too much had happened in the past months and getting away from it all seemed like a pleasant idea.

Peyton found her seat. She had insisted on a seat at the window. John's label had been all nice to her lately. She rolled her eyes inwardly since she knew they were pampering her because she was the person that Mia wanted to work with and whose advice she would follow. Right now Peyton was in the fortunate position that she had something that a major label desperately wanted. Something that any music label wanted. Peyton had a talented hit artist. So for the first time in her life she sat down in the first class. Her seat was very comfy and very much to her liking. For a moment she felt slightly uncomfortable. The label spending all this money for her was like a little bribe. A little something John wanted her to have, so that he could ask for something of her in return. She wondered if that was how it all began. If this was how the corruption of the people. getting involved in the major labels, began. Little gifts and pleasantries were given to ensnare the poor unknowing people that were getting involved in the industry. And by the time they understood how the business worked, they were already so deep in the rabbit's hole that there was no way back. At that point they could only move further in. Creating another generation of mindless managers focused on making money rather than making music.

Luckily Peyton was aware of how the business worked. She hadn't worked for a major label for so long and not picked up on how the complex machinery ticked. They wouldn't be able to get her the way they got all the other poor sods. She just had to be careful. First and foremost she wanted Mia to produce incredible music. That was what opening her label was all about. To finally get a chance to give artists a shot at producing their music. For her all that mattered was that they had to be special. The music had to invoke that incredible feeling that great music had always done in her lifetime. The way music did before the teenage bloopers took control of the mainstream charts. Because in the end it was Mia's and other musician's art that mattered.

These thoughts upset her. She was doing so well. For the past hour or so she hadn't thought about Lucas anymore. But the words that ran through her mind reminded her of their past. A few months ago she had told Lucas how his art mattered and how it got her where she was. She had meant every single word of it too. At the end of her time in Los Angeles she had lost hope. She had finally understood that she wasn't going to get anywhere by staying with a major label since she wasn't interested in totally losing the person she had been. She had already given up so much of what had made her the person she had been. At this point she had to make a stand or give up on who she had been. She would have become like all the other people in the industry. Corrupted by a machinery designed to make money. The music industry hadn't really changed in that regard. The only difference was that in the past it had been content finding good music/artists/bands and promoting and distributing their music. But nowadays the music industry seemed to create most of its so called stars. Stars that were lifted to stardom. Some of them talented but for the most part not. The most important factor was that they were marketable. They didn't need to be good they just needed to be pretty or unique in some way so that the music industry could convince impressionable little teenagers that these were the best that music had to offer since the The Beatles. And being teenagers they fell for it.

This and the fact that they expected her to degrade herself had made her feel miserable. She had felt that way for a long time already. Not seeing any way to go any further, She had tried to ignore what they expected of her. Peyton had lived in denial thinking that she could do the things she wanted to do without having to compromise herself.

In the end it was Lucas' book – his art – that made her realize what she had been doing. That she had been losing a part of herself. That she was losing the person she was, in order to become the successful person she had hoped to be. And it were his words that convinced her to stop trying to become what she wasn't supposed to be. Instead she decided to go home. To go home to find the person again that she thought she had lost while living in LA. She wanted to be Peyton Sawyer again. The girl that fell in love with music while listening to The Cure's Disintegration. Not Peyton the girl that brought her boss coffee and that would help the big bosses to produce some talent free kid because it had a stupid series on TV.

Only after reading his book she had found the strength to quit her job and return home. Home where she could finally find herself and her dream again. The place from where she could finally set out to do what she wanted to do in the first place. The place from where she finally picked up the path to her destiny.

His art mattered was what got her here. Right here into the first class.

Her thoughts drifted further to the first time she had heard those words. All those years ago in high school before a basketball match, was when he first uttered those words. Back then he said those words after she had been upset with him because he looked at her art and her soul. She wanted someone to see and feel her art and she wanted someone to be touched by them so that they would see things clearer. She didn't know what she wanted them to see clearer but it didn't matter. Lucas had seen her sketches and they had helped him deal with his own baggage. In the end it was her art that had helped him through his issues and made him able to play basketball in a high school championship game. Her art had touched him and it was what got him there.

Peyton smiled as these happy memories enveloped her mind. But the smile quickly faded as she realized that those days were long gone and that times were different now. Lucas didn't need her art anymore.

She gazed out of the window. Tree Hill, she loved this place. The memories it bore both happy and sad were what made her come back. She wasn't sure if she could come back this time. Her heart was aching and she wasn't sure if it could heal while Lucas was around to hurt it with all he said and did. She felt like she needed to leave and to heal. Maybe with a bit of luck she would be able to return at some point in the future.

Peyton hadn't really thought about it so far. In this very moment she knew that she needed to leave Tree Hill. At least for a while. It was time to get over Lucas and to find something else to obsess about. She loved Lucas and always would but she couldn't live like this. Especially since Lucas seemed so much in love with Lindsey. Peyton had already found success now all she needed to find was love and peace.

Suddenly Peyton was jolted from her thought when a stewardess gently touched her arm.

"Miss Sawyer? There is a man that phoned the airline and he asked us to tell you something." She said.

"Who is it and what did he say?" Peyton asked.

"He says his name is Lucas Scott."

Peyton was surprised. "What did Mr. Scott want?"

"He said that you shouldn't go. He asked you to come home because without you it isn't home."

Peyton thought about it. "Please tell him that home isn't what it used to be and that it is time for me to find a new home. Tell him that my home lies ahead of me and not back."

The stewardess gave her an understanding nod and left.

Time to let go. The world was waiting for Peyton Sawyer. A world with a new future and a new home. She looked out of the window as the plane began to move.

**Scene 3:**

Mia's first show in Denver was good but she was nervous and there were things that she could improve. Peyton had given her some pointers as to what she should take care of and what she should do differently. The show ended late that night and their flight to Las Vegas was on the morning of the next day.

The flight to Las Vegas had been uneventful. Mia and Peyton enjoyed the perks of flying first class, while they were already discussing things for the next show and everything beyond it. After the show in Las Vegas they were scheduled to go to Los Angeles for the next show. For the time being the two of them were just happy thinking about Las Vegas and the next show. Since both hadn't been to Las Vegas so far, they were talking about what they could do there and how incredible the experience would be. The fact that Mia wasn't 21 and couldn't go into the casinos was left unmentioned.

In Las Vegas they had most of the day off for themselves. Originally the plan had been to have the Denver and Vegas shows back to back. But then the tour coordinator noticed that on the same night as the concert was supposed to play, there was already a Metallica concert. So in order not to have collisions and not to keep fans of both concerts being able to enjoy their favourite artists, the plans for the Summer tour had been changed. The date for the gig had been pushed back a day. That way Mia and Peyton would have time to themselves for most of the day. Later they wanted check out the location of the gig. Maybe even do a preliminary soundcheck. Peyton also had some other business to attend to. Obviously the label had sent someone from management that would ask for her attention. Apart from that they had a lot of free time to look forward to. Peyton had even managed to buy concert tickets. She just wanted to buy 5 tickets for Mia, Haley, Nathan, Jamie and herself. On Ebay you just get them as they are offered though, so she had ended up with a package of 7. Apparently some group couldn't manage to get a ride to LV and had to get rid of their tickets. The tickets were very expensive but considering what the package consisted of and what kind of tickets they were, the price was more than fair. Besides that she could afford it now.

To make the arrangement perfect, Peyton had gotten backstage passes later. It certainly did pay off to have contacts in the major labels. So now she had 7 tickets and backstage passes to a Metallica concert. She couldn't contain her joy about this. Usually she didn't listen to Metal that hard but Metallica was special to her. Like the Cure, Metallica had that darkness and depth in the lyrics that she loved so much. They had songs for every one of her moods and last but not least Metallica just kicked ass. Since she just needed 5 tickets, she would also be able to make 2 fans very happy when she sold the tickets and backstage passes for almost nothing in front of the stadium. She could have sold them on Ebay for a little fortune but she didn't feel like it. Peyton wanted to see the joy in the eyes of the fans when they got the tickets and at a price far less than what Peyton had paid for them.

Right after landing in Las Vegas Mia and Peyton went to their hotel. There they got ready for a shopping spree and a little tourist trip along the Strip. It was a very interesting time. They got to see all the beautiful hotels that were located on the Strip. There were the Bellagio's fountains and the volcano at the Mirage e.g. The Strip was a place of enjoyment. You could see all these wonderful hotels with all their casinos and attractions. The place was buzzing with tourists. It was a shame that Mia was only 18 and they couldn't actually check the casinos out. They weren't so much interested in the gambling itself, as just to experience the atmosphere. After all that was what most people came to Vegas for. So instead of going into a casino, they walked around and checked the great shopping places. Since both of them were actually making some decent money and they wouldn't have much chances of spending any of their hard earned money for more than a week or longer, they decided to spend some today. Both of them very much enjoyed the shopping trip. Peyton totally forgot about all of her problems and Mia was so relaxed that she forgot about all the stress that a concert tour meant. They were enjoying their trip and each other's company. Mia and Peyton had always been close but their friendship was growing even closer, now that they spent so much time together.

**Scene 4:**

After several hours of shopping and checking the city out they went over to the place where the concert would be the next day. Peyton wanted to go to Mia's and her own dressing room to check out if everything was ready. The label was supposed to send her some paperwork and she wanted to see if it had already arrived. They probably would send it to her hotel but she just wanted to check. She knew how business worked. You could never be too careful. She strode down a long corridor. She wore the Metallica T-Shirt that she had bought earlier that day and a pair of jeans with a few holes. The holes were placed at exactly the right places to look natural but also at places that made her look extremely sexy. Apart from that she just wore her usual sneakers. Just to top it off and make sure that no random people stopped her she wore her iPod with a pair of trifis. She was used to travel from LA and she loved music and therefore she had appreciated the possibilities and sound quality that this combination offered her. She had her iPod set to shuffle. So the next track to play was randomly chosen. Funny enough the song was one by the Cure. She loved the Cure and even though Wish was not her favourite album she still loved some of the songs. This was one of those. Slowly the track and lyrics entered her mind.

_He waits for her to understand  
But she won't understand at all  
She waits all night for him to call  
But he won't call anymore  
He waits to hear her say  
Forgive  
But she just drops her pearl-black eyes  
And prays to hear him say  
I love you  
But he tells no more lies_

_He waits for her to sympathize  
But she won't sympathize at all  
She waits all night to feel his kiss  
But always wakes alone  
He waits to hear her say  
Forget  
But she just hangs her head in pain  
And prays to hear him say  
No more  
I'll never leave again_

_How did we get this far apart?  
We used to be so close together  
How did we get this far apart?  
I thought this love would last forever_

_He waits for her to understand  
But she won't understand at all  
She waits all night for him to call  
But we won't call  
He waits to hear her say  
Forgive  
But she just drops her pearl-black eyes  
And prays to hear him say  
I love you  
But he tells no more lies_

_How did we get this far apart?  
We used to be so close together  
How did we get this far apart?  
I thought this love would last forever_

As the words ran through her mind a tear escaped her eye. It felt like the universe was trying to make a point and she was heartbroken by what it meant to say. Peyton turned the iPod off and just walked on. Just a few meters ahead there was the door with her name on it.

Peyton grabbed the door knob and turned it around. Then she swung the door gently open and walked in. She had hardly walked a step into the room when she was taken aback by a sight she hadn't expected.

On the other side of the room there was a huge sheet of paper. It had been taped to the wall. On the sheet there was a painting.

The first thing she noticed was that it was obviously made by amateurs. The artistic value was low at best. But then as she came closer she noticed what was on it. There was a person drawn on the left hand side. It resembled something that Jamie would have drawn for a person. Below it she noticed the word 'scientist' with an arrow pointing towards the person. Beside him there was something that consisted of three lines. The hand of the scientist reached for it and it was labeled 'telescope'. It was pointing at something that was apparently supposed to be a comet according to the label. It was recognizable but it wasn't exactly well drawn. The comet seemed to move away from the scientist and towards the sun that was painted in the very upper right hand corner of the painting. On the upper left hand and lower right hand side of the painting there were words written down. She noticed that they were lyrics to a song and they went:

_Remember all the times that we used to play?  
You were lost and I would save you  
I don't think those feelings will ever fade  
You were born a part of me  
I was never good at hiding anything  
My thoughts break me  
Do you understand what you mean to me?  
You are my faith_

_Won't you cure my tragedy?  
Won't you cure my tragedy?  
Don't take her smile away from me  
She's broken and I'm far away  
Won't you cure my tragedy?__  
__Won't you cure my tragedy?  
If you make the world a stage for me  
Then I hope that you can hear me scream  
Won't you cure my tragedy?_

_When I sit and think of the days we shared  
And the nights you covered for me  
Every little thing that I ever did  
You would stand by me  
Every time you cried it would take my wind  
My heart would break  
If I could be strong like you were for me  
You are my faith_

_Won't you cure my tragedy?  
Won't you cure my tragedy?  
Don't take her smile away from me  
She's broken and I'm far away  
Won't you cure my tragedy?  
Won't you cure my tragedy?  
If you make the world a stage for me  
Then I hope that you can hear me scream  
Won't you cure my tragedy?_

_Can you hear me scream?  
Can you hear me scream?_

_Won't you cure my tragedy?  
Won't you cure my tragedy?  
Don't take her smile away from me  
She's broken and I'm far away  
Won't you cure my tragedy?  
Won't you cure my tragedy?  
If you make the world a stage for me  
then I hope that you can hear me scream  
Won't you cure my tragedy?_

_I can't take this anymore  
I can't feel this anymore  
Won't you take and give her pain to me  
'Cause my whole life I've made mistakes  
Can you hear me scream?  
Can you hear me scream?_

The song caused a tear to escape. It was a beautiful song. She knew the song. But she wasn't so sure what this was supposed to mean.

In front of the painting a girl was standing. She had a brush in her hand and was colouring a part of the painting that was still white for a large part. She had brunette hair that was knotted up into a braid. The girl had her entire attention focused on her work and didn't even bother to turn around when Peyton entered the room. Before Peyton could open her mouth the girl spoke.

"Lucas what have you been doing? We need to hurry up. Peyton could come here any time and we want this to be ready when she does. Get that paint here so we can finish up."

The girl turned around and Peyton could finally see the face of the girl. It was Brooke Davis. Brooke Davis stood there seemingly unable to speak. She was just staring at Peyton in a rather dumb struck way.

"Brooke what are you doing here? And what is that?" Peyton asked as she pointed at the painting.

"Peyton, Peyton I can't tell you. Or maybe I could but it's not place to."

"Wait a minute. Did you just call for Lucas when I entered the room?"

"Yea, I guess I did. He is supposed to be returning any minute now."

"But what are you doing here? And what is Lucas doing here?"

"Peyton Lucas has to explain what he is here to do. All I can tell you is why I am here. After you flew to Denver and shot down Lucas, he phoned me and asked me to come with him to Vegas. Lucas needed some help with his plans. You can see that his plans involve this rather big painting and since we ran out of paint he's gone out to get some more. By the way what are YOU doing here? You weren't supposed to show up till much later or better even till tomorrow."

"I had to check up on some stuff."

"Oh there he is. Lucas is back Peyton. I guess I better get out of the way so you two can work things out." Brooke smiled and walked towards the door.

"No Brooke please stay." Peyton begged but Brooke was already almost through the door.

"P. Sawyer I'm sorry but this is something that you have to figure out by yourself. Lucas and you have to settle this once and for all and I'm not getting in the middle of that." Brooke had looked back and smiled at her while saying that but was now walking out of the door. Right behind the door she passed Lucas and gently squeezed his shoulder. Then she was gone.

Lucas was standing in the doorframe with a bucket of paint. Both of them didn't move at all. Peyton didn't know what to say and apparently Lucas didn't either, judging by the dumbfounded look on his face.

After a minute of silence that seemed like eternity to Peyton, Lucas finally uttered the first words.

"Uh, hi Peyton." She saw him smiling uncomfortably.

"Hi Lucas." Peyton hesitated a bit before she continued. "What are you doing here? And what is this supposed to be?" She demanded and pointed at the painting.

"Erm it's uhm it's nothing."

"It's nothing? You flew all the way from Tree Hill to Las Vegas for nothing?"

"Ok when you say it like that it sounds even more stupid that it did in my mind." Lucas sighed deeply before he continued.

"Peyton I'm here for you. When I saw your painting on the Rivercourt with the Comet and the lyrics of the Cure's 'Lovesong' I tried to phone you. After I saw that that didn't work, I phoned the airline as you might recall. And after I got your reply there wasn't much I could do. So I recalled your schedule, phoned Brooke and asked her to come with me to Vegas to help me with this."

"You needed help for this? Come on even Jamie could have drawn it with ease. He probably would have done a lot better too." She was mocking him. But she knew that it was just an attempt to cover her own nervousness.

"Probably. But it is a lot of work for a single person and I was kind of under pressure considering the little time I had, since I wasn't sure when you'd come here. And I was right with my assumption too because you are here and it's not even finished." Lucas smiled slightly embarrassed.

"Ok this only explains what you are doing here but not WHY you are here." Peyton crossed her arms in front of herself.

"Peyton I've come to apologize and to say to you that I love you and I want to be with you and I never want to leave you again."

"Lucas it's too late for that." Peyton said with a stone cold expression on her face. It was just a façade but she had to put it up as not to just break down in front of him. Peyton needed to be strong. She had made her decision to finally move on. After everything she had done he couldn't just come and demand the place in her heart that had become so hollow after she had finally managed to cast him out of it.

"Peyton don't say that. How could it ever be too late? Don't you remember? Lovesong, the words we said to each other before you left to LA or the door? Don't you remember 'Lucas + Peyton True Love Always'?"

"Lucas I remember all of those. And I told you that I loved you. I told you all the time. I even told you that I would never stop loving you. But YOU said 'I do' to Lindsey. YOU kept on pursuing her when I told you that I loved you and that we were meant for each other. YOU were the one that ruined what we had." Peyton's anger was picking up and it was making itself known in her voice.

"I know. And I'm truly sorry for all the hurt I caused you because of it. Peyton all I can say is that I closed my heart and my eyes. If I had not it would have been clear to me from the beginning that all I want, all I need, is you."

Peyton couldn't believe it. All this time he was playing this game with her and now this. She couldn't bear it and went cold inside.

"Lucas you said 'I HATE YOU' to me. You said you wished I had never come back." Peyton said coldly.

Lucas looked down to his feet. For a few minutes silence hung in the air. The tension was so strong that it felt like it was suffocating them.

Then Lucas raised his head and spoke in an even voice.

"Peyton I remember that. At least I remember the emotion very vividly and I have a vague notion of uttering those words."

"Oh, so what you are going to say next is that I should forget what you said because you were drunk? You surely want to say that what you said didn't mean anything because it was the alcohol speaking? Lucas have you ever heard of 'in vino veritas'? It's something the old Romans already knew. In wine lies the truth. You said what you really felt. Don't give me this bogus about how you didn't mean it."

"I am not trying to blame it on the alcohol. I already gave it some thought the day after I said it and what I came up with is that I really meant what I said. It's the truth Peyton. I hate you."

Peyton's face belied her disbelief. "Whaaaaat? So you meant it! But what is this little show for then? Lucas, do you hate me so much that you came all the way to Las Vegas to make fun of me?" Peyton looked broken.

"No, Peyton. I love you. I would never do that to you."

Peyton looked confused. "Didn't you just say that you hated me? So what is it now Luke? Love or Hate?"

"Yes I said that and it's the truth. Peyton I hate you because you make me feel weak, you make me feel insecure and you make me feel like I can't do anything when you aren't around. I feel like a little boy around you. I hate that I cannot be truly happy without you. I hate that when you are around everything else pales in comparison to you. I hate that I cannot be a writer without you and when you are around that I can apparently only write about you. I hate that I feel like a shadow of myself. I hate that you couldn't put my mind at ease all those years back even though I was an idiot about it. I hate that we lost years together because we were both too proud and busy or something came up. I hate you for these things and probably some more."

Peyton just stood there with her mouth agape. She was unable to utter a single word. Instead Lucas spoke again.

"And I love you Peyton. I love you from the very core of my heart. I love that you make everything seem right, even when things are not. I love that you inspire me to follow my dreams and actually enable me to follow through. I love that you never stopped loving me, even when I seemingly did. I love that you follow your heart and if you walk down a wrong path you still find your way back. I love that you have this grace about you and that you would rather give me up than see me unhappy. I love that you are driven and passionate. I love that you took your destiny into your own hands and followed up on your own dreams. I love that you cry but are never really weak. I love that you love me unconditionally and that you'd show me when I'm too stupid to see it. I love that you make me whole. I love that you were born for me to love. I love you because you are the other half to my soul that I've been missing so long in my life. I love you Peyton Sawyer because we are one."

This shocked Peyton even more than what Lucas had said. She was trying to pull back and get her life in order and then he said things like these. She was confused to say the least, her mind unable to process everything it was told.

"Luke shouldn't you figure out if it's love or hate before you come to me declaring your lo… well whatever it's supposed to be." Peyton managed to say.

"Peyton that's what I'm here to do. Love and Hate are two sides of the same coin. They are one. They both just represent different ways of showing real raw emotions that one person feels towards another. What we have exceeds Love and Hate. It transcends what these words represent. I don't just love you Peyton. You are a part of me and I am a part of you. We are two halves of a single soul. We are two different representations of the same being. You are Me and I am You." Lucas said and she saw that he meant what he said. He meant every single lunatic word of it.

"Lucas you have lost it. That's a pile of bullshit and you know it." Peyton said.

Suddenly she noticed that Lucas wasn't so far anymore. He was just a step away from her.

"You don't believe my words?" he said while still moving closer.

"No, Luke I do not believe you. Love and Hate are contradictory. They are everything but the same. Luke..." Before Peyton could say anything else she felt Lucas lips touching hers. Completely confused and in thought she hadn't expected him to just kiss her. Peyton was so amazed by this that she couldn't react at all. And as his tongue entered her open mouth all her thoughts just melted away for a while. It was a gentle and loving kiss. Yet it wasn't lacking in passion. She felt his love pouring into her and causing that tingling sensation. This was a feeling she hadn't felt in years. Not since Lucas broke up with her. And the way he kissed her was something she had missed for so long. They hadn't kissed this way since before she left Tree Hill to go to LA. The few times they had met their kisses had been lustful. They had been so horny for each other that the loving, gentle moments were almost lost. But all that was in the past. He couldn't just kiss her like that. Not after everything he had done. She felt the anger growing stronger in her.

She pushed Lucas away. "No, Luke. You can't do the things you did and then expect everything to be alright with a few words and a kiss." Her anger grew stronger inside.

"But, but..." Lucas stammered. She could see the love and the pain in his eyes.

Peyton's eyes were glinting as rage was coursing through her veins. Rage was giving her strength. Strength in her body, strength to resist him and the strength to inflict pain upon him. It was enveloping her mind, drowning all reason while doing so.

Peyton's hands were still pushing against his chest but suddenly she grabbed him by the collar on both sides. Lucas eyes widened while she just stared into them. There was no thought anymore. In her hate her subconscious was taking control.

Then she suddenly pulled him in. The adrenaline that was pumping in her body gave her an incredible strength so that Lucas couldn't have done anything even if he had a chance to do so.

Peyton was as surprised about what she was doing as Lucas seemed to be judging from the look on his face. Before she knew it she was already kissing Lucas fiercely. She was biting his lower lip. Hard enough that she suddenly tasted a little bit of blood. Again and again she attacked his lips. Her tongue was attacking his mouth with incredible passion. It was entirely different than the kisses they had shared before. It was not gently or loving. It was demanding, fierce, longing and lustful. All her hate, all her emotions were pouring into the kisses. The feeling was freeing. There was no restraint holding anything back. Her body was just taking what her mind secretly wanted.

After a while Peyton pushed Lucas away. Her conscious mind was finally back in control.

"I'm, I'm sorry Luke. I shouldn't have done that." Peyton managed to say and walked past Lucas and towards the door. She was confused. What did this mean and what was she doing? How could she reject him and then do something like that. She never wanted to inflict pain upon him. Not even after what she had been put through.

Lucas had just regained his composure. Before his mind could catch up with the events that had just happened, his body reacted. He turned and his hand grabbed Peyton's arm.

For a moment they just stood like that. Lucas hand gripping her wrist, two arm's lengths apart. They were staring into each other's eyes.

Finally Lucas spoke up in a low tone. " Peyton I walked out onto you once. I'm not going to let you make the same mistake now."

Peyton didn't know what to say. She wanted to hear those words so often. In her dreams she had imagined him saying words just like those. But it wasn't his words that made the situation so dreamlike. It was the way his ocean blue eyes were staring into her hazel green ones and piercing her heart. They were unlocking a truth there that she had kept there buried since she had to tell him that she was letting him go.

The truth was that she couldn't let go and she couldn't live without Lucas.

Both of them seemed to have reached the same conclusion and they both closed in at the same time for another kiss. This time things were different. All their emotions just came together in one kiss. Now it was gentle and loving and then it was passionate and lustful. It was giving and taking. There was Love and Hate.

Clarity flooded Peyton's mind now and after so many years she finally noticed something. Since the day that she left Tree Hill to go to Los Angeles she hadn't felt like this. She felt like she was reunited with another part of herself. A part that she had missed for years. She hadn't even known that it was gone. But not that it was back she understood all the past years. Understood why she couldn't be happy and why he couldn't either.

Suddenly his words rang in her ears again. "You are Me and I am You."

She didn't understand those words when he had uttered them but after everything that had just happened, suddenly everything made sense.

There were Lucas and Peyton and nothing could separate them again, ever.

Nothing except biology and the need to breathe. So finally they were forced to part before either of them would pass out. The slight lack of oxygen and the wholesome feeling inside her made her knees buckle. Suddenly she was kneeling in front of Lucas.

Lucas bended over and reached for her hands.

"Everything alright?" He asked worriedly.

"Yes. Actually it has never been better."

A thought suddenly moved in her mind.

"Someday, yea someday." Peyton murmured.

"What? What did you just say Peyton?" Lucas asked curiously.

"Nothing, Luke." She said but her mind wouldn't let go of the trail of thought she just had.

"Luke I have two questions and I need you to answer truthfully."

"Of course I will Peyton."

"Luke, will you ever leave me again?" Peyton asked the first question.

"No, I will never leave you again." Lucas said with a smile.

"Lucas this question may be a bit unexpected but I think nothing today was very expectable."

"Peyton you are rambling." Lucas urged her to ask her question.

"Lucas Eugene Scott, will you marry me?" Peyton asked.

Shock was evident on Lucas face. It took him a minute before he was able to answer.

**Scene 5:**

Peyton and Lucas were looking right into each other's eyes. Peyton was feeling excited, scared, happy and uncertain all at the same time. For a moment it felt like the pressure on her chest would make her lungs collapse. She stared into his eyes a little while longer. Uncertainty was visible in her eyes. Lucas took her hands in his and gave them a light squeeze. Then he smiled at her. Suddenly Peyton found her strength again. She knew what the right thing to do was and she always had. Just that this time she wouldn't let anything get in the way of it.

Peyton turned to her right where a man was standing. He looked incredibly ridiculous. Peyton couldn't have cared less.

"I do." She said and slipped the ring she had in her hand onto Lucas' finger.

Behind her 40000 people began to cheer. Drowning the words of the man clad as Elvis in noise. Only Lucas and Peyton and the people around them could hear him, even if not very well. His words were:

"Herewith I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

While Elvis was saying those words the crowd started shouting "Kiss, kiss, kiss, …"

Peyton blushed at this. Lucas and she were suddenly visible on two huge video walls. She couldn't get herself to kiss him in front of thousands of people. So she closed her eyes and opened her mouth to tell Lucas that when she suddenly felt his lips making contact with hers. Before her mind could make sense of any of it, his tongue was slipping into her mouth and he bent her over onto his left arm. The crowd was once again cheering. Peyton didn't hear them anymore though. First she let out a muffled little sound as he took her by surprise but then she just got lost in the kiss. She was overwhelmed by the touch of his tongue, the taste of him, the smell of his hair. She was totally lost in their passionate exchange.

They kept on kissing until several people around them started to cough lightly. Lucas and Peyton broke the kiss and Lucas put her up. Brooke, Haley, Nathan and Mia were pointing in two different directions. Some fingers were pointing towards the crowd. And the others were pointing towards a man that was now standing behind the microphone where a little while ago the Elvis impersonator had stood. This man was standing there with a guitar in his hands and lightly tapping his right foot on the floor as if to show his impatience.

"Would you guys mind if we take the stage now?"

Lucas and Peyton both turned instantly red as tomatoes.

"Sure James. We'll be right out of your way." Peyton said and moved towards the side of the stage. Nathan, Brooke and Jamie were walking behind them.

Mia and Haley wanted to walk towards the side of the stage as well when James Hetfield suddenly spoke to them. "Would you two mind lending me a hand with the following song?"

Haley and Mia didn't know what to say at first but Peyton motioned to them that they should go and just do it.

While Mia and Haley moved some guys brought two additional microphones onto the stage.

"Ok everybody. This was a wonderful marriage and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I to see two big Metallica fans finally committing to each other in front of us. Especially since one of them is the manager/label owner of Mia Katalano and Haley James Scott. I guess all of you know this following song. Something that our two lovebirds over there will like very much I hope."

He whispered to both Haley and Mia who were standing on either side of him. Then he just started playing on his guitar.

_So close, no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
and nothing else matters_

_Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say  
and nothing else matters_

_Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us something new  
Open mind for a different view  
and nothing else matters_

_never cared for what they do  
never cared for what they know  
but I know_

_So close, no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
and nothing else matters_

_never cared for what they do  
never cared for what they know  
but I know_

_Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say_

_Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us, something new  
Open mind for a different view  
and nothing else matters_

_never cared for what they say  
never cared for games they play  
never cared for what they do  
never cared for what they know  
and I know_

_So close, no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
No, nothing else matters_

Lucas and Peyton loved the song. This time it was played as an acoustic version. Peyton was standing in front of Lucas and he put his arms around her waist. Then he took her hands in his.

Together they swayed in the rhythm of the music and they were both content and at peace. They had finally found each other.

That very moment Peyton S. finally realized that home wasn't always a place. It could also be a person or a feeling. For years Peyton Scott had wanted to return home and finally she had found it. Her home wasn't Tree Hill. Her home was wherever Lucas was.


End file.
